Social Media & Dinner Parties - Why the two aren't so different

We need to start thinking about how we measure social media success. It’s not all about the number of fans. Here’s a scenario I’d like you to consider…

You’re throwing a dinner party at your place and you’re putting together your guest list. You have a choice to invite 100 strangers or 10 friends. Certainly from the outside, 100 strangers at your house would make your neighbors think you’re awfully popular, but inside the party is going to be pretty awkward.. While 10 friends may not impress your neighbors, I’ll guarantee that there will be more engaging conversation going on, and your guests are going to have a better time at your dinner party.

So, your social media communities are like a dinner party - it’s not all about the numbers.

Too often companies and organizations are overly concerned with their fan count, but as my example illustrates, 10 fans that engage and communicate with you are worth a lot more than having a huge community of unengaged, unresponsive fans.

You can’t learn anything from a huge community of unengaged fans. They’re certainly not going to advocate on your behalf. They’re not going to take a desired action. They’re definitely not going to be there for you when you need them. Bottom line is you are wasting time and energy trying to get these fans to engage with you, and what’s worse, a lot of time and effort was wasted getting them to become your friends in the first place.

So how do you find the kind of fans you want to have and how do you measure the success of your efforts?

Well, how do you make friends in your daily life? It isn’t so different online.

• Make friends where you hang out most. Online this means your website. Your website is your main presence online and it’s only natural that you’ll find most of your friends there. (I mean, they’re already on your website so they must be relatively interested in you already.) Add callouts across your website advertising your presence in the social media space. Let the tools that Facebook, Twitter and the like work for you. Prominently adding a Twitter feed, Facebook Fan box, or “Share” feature to your website is all it really takes.
  
  
• Encourage your friends to introduce you to their friends. Your friends can be your biggest advocates. Think about it in the real world. Your guard is down when an old friend introduces you to someone new. You are naturally going to be more trusting because after all, if this new person is friends with your friend they must be a pretty decent human being. It works the same way in the online world – use it to your advantage. Let your existing friends introduce you to new friends. Make it easy for them – give your friends sponsored content that they can share with their friends. Your friend’s friends will naturally find you. Then everyone can be friends!
  
  
• Make friends who share similar interests. It is also perfectly acceptable to find other places online where people like you hang out. As a real world example, I like art, so I find places where artsy people are and hang out there. Online this means finding blogs, microblogs or other online communities where people like you hang out. Make introductions and start to get to know them. (Just don’t come on too strong Just as in the real world, coming on too strong just makes you look desperate…)

And what about tracking success? I’d argue that it’s most important to pay attention to the number of engagements – comments, shares, interactions, clicks, etc. – relative to your number of friends/fans/followers/etc. That’s it. It’s that easy.

So there is it. Stop worrying about the number of friends you have and start making friends that really count!